The author reflects upon the potent connection between conflicting dimensions of life and which instills fear and deters a person from achieving fulfillment.
Faith, honesty, hope, trust; probably moves the world. All the ongoing activities may suddenly stop or halt if there is no trust and honesty in everyday transactions. Following a path of truth, authenticity, integrity and honesty can make life perfect, simple and very easy.
We frequently resort to many lies and falsehoods to satisfy or fulfill our unfulfilled or unsatisfied desires. Sometimes, we choose an ambiguous or risky path to fulfill those crazy desires. Our inquisitiveness and curiosity, forces us and controls us and ultimately enslaves us. Finally, we are inhibited from selecting our own paths and goals against our consent or desire.
The curiosity and excitement formed from our endless desires, and the desire to do something or get something, sometimes makes us a victim of deception or traps us in a tricky situation. It is often due to unawareness or innocence that at times we get stuck in some big trouble. Predators are positioned at every turn, opportunists are sitting in ambush, they are just waiting for a mistaken step of ours and the game is over.
One should not abandon their curiosity, inquisitiveness and the desire to know and explore the world just because of predators, dishonest people and traitors. Curiosity, inquisitiveness and the desire to know and explore the world is an invaluable, precious and a priceless gift of nature. Abandonment of these basic human instincts cannot be virtuous, decent or of any good for any one or the society at large. Abandoning eagerness to know and explore the world cannot be good at either personal or social level. Sometimes we wish or long for the well-being of entire society and at times only personal frivolous, measly and petty desires.
This endless conflict within ourselves is constant and without any boundary. Our final pursuit or goal or the answer to our quest lies between these boundaries and there lies our fulfillment of desires, perfection, absoluteness and accomplishment; which we continually visualize and wish.
Nothing is unimaginable or impossible, but we generally get stuck in some tricky situations because of our unawareness, inexperience, innocence and immaturity. The pleasure, gratification and joyfulness that we imagined from some of our frivolous and petty desires sometimes alienates us from our near and dear ones; these seem to be like enemies of our happiness and desires. It becomes absolutely and extremely difficult and complicated to decide what is right or wrong and who is a friend and who is a foe.
How to test and screen loyalty, honesty, commitment and integrity of the people and how to understand and find their authenticity. The lack of any method to test the authenticity of people instills a fear, the fear of unknown. The fear, the terror, the phobia that has been instilled in us through so many deceptive ways actually kills our instinct of curiosity, inquisitiveness and the desire to know and explore the world.
We need to bring about a reconciliation, we need to end this infinite struggle within ourselves. We must bring about an equilibrium between self-pleasure of our frivolous and petty desires and welfare of the society at large. We should and must get ready to do something or die. We must be ready to lose everything if we want something. We must stop living the life riddled with fear, terror and deception and do something about it today and now, so that we can live a life without fear, terror or deception without compromising the instinct for curiosity, inquisitiveness and the desire to know and explore the world for our own happiness, pleasure and bliss.
How much does it feel when we think about our safety, security and protection? It inhibits us from having a desire to live life, the desire to know and explore about self, the desire to satisfy selfish, frivolous and petty needs, the desire to do something for the society and the world and the desire to discover something and do something good for the world. And more than anything else, the desire to pass some good time, give something to others and want to take something from others. Some of these endless temptations are throbbing every day beneath my chest.
At times it feels like someone is trying to smother my desires and pleasures, someone is humiliating me, some one is killing my self-respect, as it makes them feel sad. I look, listen and understand them silently. I do not know what to do and how to do something to change it. It feels like being surrounded and surmounted by a clout of extreme fear. It is always around me like a dread and I face it at all times.
There is a continuous conflict within myself, I am fighting with myself, I am at war with my inner peace, I am again standing on the intersection; which path should I choose, which path should I follow? I am confused and I am totally muddled, jumbled and frozen. Some people assure me of every pleasure that I always imagined and desired; these hopes of fulfilling desires force me into an unknown and uncertain path.
I want to break the circle of fear surrounding me, I want to set aside the fear of humiliation and loosing self-respect. I want to walk down on a path which is far distant from any fear, terror or deception. I want to forget my past and experience the pleasure of walking on the paths that I have discovered, I want to try these paths without any hindrances or interference.
But still, there is a fear, unheard of, unknowable, what should I do? Which path should I choose? Everyone tells a different path, no one is conclusive or no one is sure.
Every one guarantees hope, honesty, loyalty and security, it is even difficult to differentiate between black and white. Sometimes it feels like that my own desires have misled and deceived me and at times the world has betrayed me, near and dear ones have robbed me and looted me because I was weak at that time. I am searching for a true friend, I don’t mind walking the unknown path without any fear with my true friend.
Author: Dr Anshuman Kumar
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Vol.1 Issue 4 November 2018